won't you stay with me?
by kushinataichou
Summary: Sakura has gone years without speaking to her best friend, ever since they had their own families. A fateful and overdue reunion causes her heart to be in turmoil, and despite her best efforts, she still falls into what she (secretly) had been dreaming about for years. Eventual smut. NaruSaku.
1. Chapter 1

I have no idea how to cook. I also like to tell myself that I have great ideas.

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><p><em>This ain't love, it's clear to see.<em>

She had promised herself that she wasn't forcing anything, that she was doing this because she wanted to. She had told herself, told her fickle heart, that she was doing the right thing. Even though it settled into her heart, into her blood, into her veins - that this was the wrong choice - she still went through with it. With the best smile that she could plaster on her face, she chose this life. Even when the Uchiha that she promised she loved took her hand in his and squeezed, even when he kissed her for the first time, even when she gave birth to their child.

She knew she didn't really want this.

Nonetheless, she still tried to be a wife, a mother, a strong figure for both her husband and her daughter. She went about her day as she normally would: attending to patients at the hospital and then coming home before her daughter did to cook their dinner. She always smiled and asked how Sarada's day went, and she always tried to be a supportive mother where she could. It was her daughter, after all.

The young woman was a prodigy, too - had always been a prodigy. She was smart, and all her teachers had praised her from the start. She performed well when it came to different jutsus, and if anything, she reminded Sakura of the genius that Sasuke had been when they were all genin. She made Sakura's heart swell with pride - she was the only thing that gave Sakura strength each day. Even if she was the child of a man that was never around, Sakura still wanted to love Sarada with all she had. It was only fair. It wasn't her fault that she wasn't a good enough wife, that she _still_ couldn't make Sasuke stay.

Although time had promised her a reward, there were still things, or rather, _people_, that it could not give her.

She sighed as she flipped through the countless bills stacked onto the kitchen counter. She had paid more than half of them, but every time Sasuke left to travel and see the world, more seemed to come through the front door. She could handle them, of course, what with being the head medical nin at the hospital. She wasn't worried about the bills, but rather, she was worried about how weary it made her - how _tired_ it made her. She used to worry about whether she was making enough money to pay for things she _loved_, not the number of envelopes that she had to pay in order to survive.

If she hadn't made this choice, if she had been a better person - perhaps she'd be happier.

But that was something she didn't allow herself to think about anymore. At the beginning, when Sasuke was snoring softly beside her with his arm draped over her naked stomach, she imagined another warmth, a wide smile that always settled her heart. It made her feel safe and hugged her throughout the night, but as soon as light came and she turned over to see the face of the man that had left her for vengeance, reality hit her hard in the chest. It was getting more difficult to live with a mistake this big.

It was very possible that her heart was yearning for another man who loved her so purely, for so many years.

She settled the now empty envelopes on the kitchen counter as she swiftly moved towards the refrigerator. For many years, she knew she had been a bad cook. Whatever it was that she made, she could see in Sasuke's and Sarada's eyes that it wasn't good. She worked hard then, when she wasn't at the hospital, and went to cooking classes. She figured that if she couldn't be a good mother and wife, then there was no point in her choice. She knew that if it was _him_, they'd take cooking classes together, and he'd probably end up cooking more than her. She wanted to smile at the thought.

She pulled out other ingredients to eat with roasted chicken. She moved around the kitchen effortlessly, and she smiled at the thought that she used to have trouble with just this. She thought of Tsunade, her former teacher, and vaguely remembered how she said she had no time to become a mother, a wife. Of course, that was Tsunade's choice, and this was hers. Moreover, Tsunade had more ghosts to deal with than Sakura did. She wasn't ready to pile those ghosts onto her lover's shoulders, perhaps.

She sighed, shaking the thoughts from her head.

"Hey, Mom," the dark-haired teen came through the front door, setting her bag down.

"You're home early," Sakura noted.

"Yeah, Dad said that I should be able to read the scrolls by now."

"No luck, huh?"

"Wouldn't be here if there was."

Sakura frowned. Because she was slowly approaching the age of twenty, Sarada had gotten a talk from Sasuke about the ways of the Uchiha. He had said something about the scrolls that could only be seen with certain eyes. Although Sarada was definitely a prodigy in other aspects, it was still difficult for her to activate her sharingan. Sasuke had encouraged her endlessly, but there was a sadness in his eyes, and Sakura was sure that it had nothing to do with the fact that she couldn't activate her eyes. Of course, for Uchiha to attain their sharingan, they were to experience great pain or have an ultimate ambition.

In all honesty, Sakura knew it was pointless. Sarada had neither of those.

"What're you making?" Sarada asked as she sat at the kitchen counter.

"Roasted chicken."

"With mashed potatoes?"

"Yep."

"Can I help?"

Sakura laughed.

"You can always help. Potatoes are still in the fridge."

They worked in silence, swift hands working efficiently and expertly, as they had been doing this for so many years. Sarada was never a child of many words around Sasuke, but whenever she was alone with her mother, it was almost as though she felt more relaxed, and her heart opened up. Sakura had noticed this when she was fourteen, and thought it was important for her to be close to her father, but no matter what, Sarada always came to her first. It didn't upset her, per se, but she did feel as though the universe was trying to make it up to her, somehow.

_Yeah, right_, she thought.

She didn't think there was a way for anyone - not even the universe - to forgive her.

Sarada's hair had grown long, Sakura noted. It was as long as hers had been back when she was a twelve-year-old girl who gawked after Uchiha Sasuke. Of course, she didn't _have_ to gawk at him anymore. It was almost funny to think that her silly childhood crush had resulted in marriage, in a child that stood right before her. Of course, it wasn't a _good_ marriage, but they did have an amazing daughter. Sakura felt a tug at her heart. It was funny how some things worked out, after all.

"How're the patients at the hospital?"

"They're fine. A lot of them have just had too many broken bones from training."

"Sounds familiar."

Sakura laughed.

"Sounds like something Bolt would do," Sarada finished as she shrugged.

Bolt. Uzumaki Bolt. Of course Sakura couldn't forget the young man that had been graced by the Hokage and the Hyuuga inheritor. He had spunk, and it was true that ever since he was a kid, he'd been making monthly visits to the hospital because he broke something or ate something bad. Because she saw him so much - and because Sarada was best friends with the young man - Sakura knew about his antics more than the whole village did. When he was younger and got into trouble, it was always Hinata that picked him up and apologized on behalf of her son, always as polite as ever. Having a mother like that, Bolt must have been lucky.

"It does," Sakura confirmed as she washed her hands, the chicken already roasting on the stove.

"How about you, though? Are your missions okay?"

Sarada hummed and nodded slowly, her fingers becoming lazier with the potato-peeling. Sakura smiled and sat down across from her, grabbing another peeler and working twice as fast as her daughter. She waited for more, knowing that the less she prompted Sarada about her missions, the more she would open up about them.

"Hokage-sama assigns a lot of them to me. He has other better ninja."

"Don't say that. He chose you because you're fit for the job."

"Or because I'm the daughter of two of his best friends."

Sakura chuckled but her heart thumped. After all these years, she really couldn't be called his best friend. Sasuke was different - sometimes when he was free and the Hokage was avoiding his advisor, they'd go for drinks. Sasuke had come home drunk _plenty_ of times, but not enough to pass out. She had never seen the Hokage's face at her front door, though she knew that he dragged her husband home. He always did support Sasuke, especially when he needed to.

"Sarada," she breathed, "maybe you're a better ninja than you think. Maybe even better than Bolt."

"I don't think so. Bolt is pretty good, mom."

"Better than the daughter of an Uchiha?" Sakura smirked.

Sarada's peeling slowed, but Sakura could feel the air getting heavier. She braced herself for a tantrum, telling herself she shouldn't have said that. For so many years when she was a teenager, Sakura had been referred to as the one that needed to be saved, simply because she didn't come from an elite family. She would never understand how Sarada felt to be called an Uchiha in this manner, but she knew it must not have felt great, to be labeled based on who your family was.

"Mom," she said.

"Yes, sweetie."

"Do you think I'll ever be able to activate my sharingan?"

Sakura sighed, setting her peeler aside.

"Sarada, we've been over this. It's _okay_ if you -"

"No, it's not. I'm not dumb, I can see how disappointed Dad is."

Scrunching her eyebrows, Sakura was certain that Sarada had not been paying attention when Sasuke was telling her how to _attain_ the sharingan. She ignored her daughter's grumbling and occasional _tch_ noises that were so much like her father's.

"He's not disappointed."

"When I'm not looking, he gives you that look."

"What look?"

"The one he gives when you say you cooked dinner but it's not his favorite."

Sakura chuckled.

"Well. Either way, he's not disappointed. Trust me."

Sarada shrugged and continued peeling. She was getting more efficient with it, Sakura noted. She always started doing things with uncertainty, but the more she did it, the more confident she became. It wasn't really working hard, it was more that she _knew_ if she just kept at it, it would eventually become second nature to her. Sakura could only imagine that not being able to activate her sharingan was more than a little frustrating.

When Sakura had finished washing the dishes, she found Sarada sitting in front of the television with a bucket of ice cream, her expression blank. Sakura sighed. Of _course_ Sarada would do this now - she was a teenage girl, after all, but she was also her daughter. Grabbing a spoon of her own, she sat beside her daughter, silently asking if she could be miserable with her. Sarada, without looking at her mother, handed her the tub and continued flipping through the channel, looking for something interesting to watch.

"Do you want to turn off the TV?" Sakura asked gently.

"Why?"

"Don't you want to talk?"

She side-glanced her mother before sighing and turning off the television. She stuck her spoon in her mouth and sucked, and Sakura sighed. She couldn't believe how much of herself she was seeing in her daughter. Had she always been like this when it came to things that were upsetting her?

"What's bothering you?" she tried.

"Nothing."

"Sarada, I'm your mother. I'm also very much like you."

"I'm telling you! It's nothing."

Sakura sighed and stuck her spoon into the tub of ice cream, fishing out a large scoop and stuffing it inside her mouth. Sarada watched in awe, and suddenly, Sakura knew she made a mistake. She only did that whenever she was frustrated. She only did that when something was bothering _her_.

"Are you okay?" Sarada whispered.

"I'm fine. I just wanna know what's bothering you."

Sarada sighed.

"I can't ever remember seeing you and Hokage-sama together."

Sakura almost choked on her spoon.

"_What_?"

"Dad's always saying that you're all best friends and whatnot, but I never see you with him. Not even for lunch. Not even for a drink. _Especially_ for a drink."

"Sarada, Hokage-sama is very busy."

"Obviously not too busy for Dad, so why not for you?"

"Sarada…"

"You don't even call him by his name."

Sakura's heart was pounding in her chest. Why did this matter to her daughter, the one person that she wanted to love purely? She set down the tub on the coffee table before her, placing her spoon on top. She couldn't tell Sarada the truth, because she wouldn't understand. She took a few seconds to think, a few seconds to make the curiosity disappear.

"We just have different responsibilities. Not all best friends hang out all the time."

"_Mom_."

"What?"

"Dad might not be able to tell, but I can. You're leaving something out."

Of course Sasuke wouldn't be able to tell - he doesn't know that part of her. He doesn't know the part of her that risked her life to protect the Hokage, he doesn't know the part of her that went after him even when he was a threat. Sasuke didn't know the part of her that pumped the Hokage's heart with her bare hands.

Of course he wouldn't be able to tell.

"It's not something you need to worry about, I promise."

"Can I still know?"

Measuring the expression Sarada wore, Sakura wondered how much she could tell her daughter. Hearing about love from your mother was one thing, and it was something all young girls wanted to hear about from their mothers. What Sakura was worried about wasn't Sarada finding out the truth about the matters of the past, but she was worried that Sarada would suddenly think that she was a choice Sakura was forced to make. That seeing an unhappy mother might somehow drive her to blame herself for something she didn't even do.

She did have Sakura's blood running in her veins, after all.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura decided that maybe, half the truth was acceptable enough. At least for now. Perhaps she'd wait until Sarada was older until she _could_ understand. She smiled.

"Hokage-sama was in love with me when we were younger."

"Did he ever tell you?"

Sakura felt her smile slowly turn into a frown.

"No."

"How did you know, then?"

She leaned against the arm of the sofa, her resolve shaking. Remembering how someone from the outside had to tell her that the current Hokage was in love with her had broken her heart. She had cried because she had known she was undeserving of it.

"Someone told me."

"They were telling the truth?"

Sakura nodded.

"Did Hokage-sama ever say anything?"

"No. But that's okay."

"I wonder if it really is," Sarada murmured as she leaned against the back of the sofa, grabbing the tub of ice cream.

Sakura knew it wasn't.

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><p>The following day at the hospital was hectic, to say the least.<p>

Sakura saw patient after patient, all of whom were kids that had some form of a broken bone. She assigned them all a date to come in for surgery and directed them towards different nurses to put on a cast. She signed paper after paper, and to be blunt, she was getting annoyed. There were so many records of kids getting injured, and she stared long and hard at them, trying to figure out what the problem was. She looked outside her window towards the Hokage mountain, staring at Tsunade's carved face. It normally helped her calm down, for some reason. It helped her to think straight.

That was when she noticed the barbed wires near the forest.

She was aware that every single child went there to play, since it was safe and it was full of adventure. At least, since she was a kid, improvements had been made to make sure it wasn't a safety hazard. She noted that the surroundings of the forest were battered, like they hadn't been catered to for weeks. She scrunched her eyebrows together, wondering what kind of idiot would let the forest go unattended to. It was dangerous, more than anything, right now. She sighed and stood up, walking towards the nurses' post, looking for someone she could ask help from.

"Ah, Sakura-sama!" a nurse who looked like a much younger Ino said, her voice squeaky.

Sakura smiled.

"Do you have any idea where Aki is? I need him for an errand."

"He left to attend to the patients on the fifth floor."

"What about Yuzu?"

"She went with Shizune-sama on that trip."

Sakura groaned.

"Is there anyone that can help me?"

The nurse before her frowned, and Sakura knew it was more because she seemed frightened than it was because she was unable to help. Sakura smiled at her, told her never mind, and went back to her office. One thing that Sakura knew was a fact, was that the nurses weren't as afraid of her as they were of Tsunade. Sakura was not any more compassionate than Tsunade, but she lost her temper less often. Of course, Tsunade was always reasonable, but it was a known fact that Sakura was easier to work with.

She sat at her desk and sighed, pulling out a blank sheet of paper. She wrote down the date in black ink and proceeded to fill in the subject of what the letter was about. She was always an eloquent writer, which helped for official matters such as these. She focused on writing, on stating, on informing what had been happening, and politely requested heavier security around the area. Her job was to look after the people, too.

It wasn't just the Hokage's job.

She straightened her shoulders and folded the paper neatly, pulling out an envelope from her drawer. She wrote the kanji for "hokage-sama" on the front of the envelope and sealed it with glue. She sat back in her chair and thought for a few seconds. There was no one to send the letter for her. She would have to do it herself. She made a tch noise, a habit she only picked up after Sarada kept doing it. She reached forward for a bottle of water and chugged down half of it, trying to calm her nerves. If she didn't do this, no one else would. She stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her coat, pulling herself together.

She nodded at the nurses who were still working, dropping by patients' rooms to drop off their medicine and to do regular checkups. She whisked out of the hospital faster than Tsunade ever had, and if anyone noticed, they didn't say anything. She held the envelope in between her fingers and it felt as though she was on fire, even though all she was doing was walking in the slightly chilly air. It wasn't cold enough for her to be wearing a thick coat, but it was cold enough for her to shiver. She continued walking forward, her heels clicking and clacking against the linoleum of the Hokage tower.

She hadn't been in this tower for years. The last time she was there, it was to see the sixth Hokage, her genin sensei, Kakashi. She had come there to ask him out for drinks along with the other members of their team, and at the time, she could still look all of them in the eye. She could still laugh at crude jokes, then set them straight when they were out of line. She was the one to take care of all of them when they got too drunk. She was the one they came to rely on. She gulped as she stepped inside the elevator - when did they install that in? - and pressed the button for the top floor.

If Tsunade visited more often, she'd see that there was something wrong. She would call Sakura out for it, and that thought made her cringe. Tsunade was the last person she wanted to point out that she was unhappy.

As she escalated towards the top of the tower, she saw the whole of Konoha - the people, the restaurants, the sunset in the horizon and the twinkling lights that were just being turned on. People were walking around in light jackets, and she knew they were probably headed to drink or to have dinner with their friends and family. She had always admired the people of Konoha - there was something about them that screamed _home_, and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. When Tsunade was Hokage, the people all had a sense of security and they would protect each other with their lives. When Kakashi became Hokage, that feeling was only amplified.

But now that the Seventh was taking care of Konoha, everyone was friends with each other.

Sakura wasn't complaining of course, but it certainly gave a different feel to coming home. Almost as though it was unbelievable. She smiled softly, remembering the young boy who smiled his cheeky grin and always boasted about how he was going to make everyone acknowledge him. So many people had laughed at him, but she never had. She remembered how he had trained with Jiraiya, and how even though he learned a few things, he was still the same boy she knew, the same best friend she respected.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to a hallway. She stepped off, mentally preparing herself as she walked towards the door. She looked at the walls and noted that all the previous Hokages' photos had been polished and put into cleaner frames. The Fourth's photo was looking particularly clean, and Sakura smiled at the notion that he must be smiling up in Heaven at his son. She approached the wooden door that suddenly seemed so intimidating. She took a few deep breaths, knowing that he hadn't seen her face in years. She was supposed to hand in regular reports to him, but she refused to march over here. She always made someone else do it, because they all admired him and wanted to have the chance to impress her, as well. She figured that she shouldn't have taken so much advantage of them, otherwise she wouldn't have to be here.

She placed her hand on the knob, reminding herself that this was okay. She wouldn't have to feel guilty if she was doing just this. She huffed out a breath through her nose and turned the knob slowly, pushing the door open. Her eyes focused on the wheely chair that faced the window, overlooking Konoha. Tsunade had done that a lot, when people came to visit her. She always said it was her way of calming down from the buttloads of paperwork she had to sift through each day. She knew someone was sitting there, and she waited for them to swivel the chair around. When no such thing seemed to happen, she cleared her throat.

"Hokage-sama, I have - "

"Ah, Auntie Sakura!"

The chair swiveled around and surely enough, the girl who was only thirteen years old smiled brightly at her. Sakura realized her shoulders had been tense, and at Himawari's greeting, she felt them relax. She looked so much like her mother, yet her demeanor was exactly like her father. Sakura smiled.

"Hey there. What're you doing here?"

"Ah, I didn't have anything to do today and Daddy didn't assign me a mission, so Mama asked me to come here."

"I see. Where _is_ your dad?"

She gestured with her head towards the door that led to an adjoined room. Sakura raised an eyebrow at the young woman. She knew that there was a room there, of course, but was the door _closed_?

"Is there a meeting?"

"Nah. Daddy's just on a coffee break with Uncle Shikamaru."

"I see."

Feeling bitter that her pep talk to herself inside her head pointless, Sakura stepped towards the door and slid it open, frustrated that she couldn't keep herself together. The Nara turned to look at her and recognition filled his eyes, to which he frowned. The Hokage was facing away from the both of them, rambling on about how he wanted a vacation. Shikamaru awkwardly swayed as he stared at Sakura, his expression unreadable. Sakura felt a shift in the air as the man who was once her best friend continued talking, his tone exasperated. He was _exhausted_, it seemed.

"Ah," a familiar raspy voice said.

Sakura turned to look at him, and found that he, too, was now facing her, his expression surprised. His eyes were wider than she remembered, and she felt her heart thump.

"Come on in," he uttered slowly, gesturing for her to take a seat.

She closed the door behind her and took another deep breath, reminding herself that the Hokage was no stranger, that he was a member of her team, that _he_ was the pinnacle for bringing back her husband from vengeance. He was the hero of this village, of the shinobi world.

He was, above all, Uzumaki Naruto.


	2. Chapter 2

I already had an ending in mind for this fanfic, but with what's been going on in the fandom, I didn't feel comfortable getting unnecessary hate. So this fanfic will go on for an extra two chapters or so, so you guys will be getting seven chapters or so instead of five ^^ please review!

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><p><em>I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?<em>

The air wasn't so much tense, as it was awkward. Sakura avoided looking at either of them in the face, and she couldn't remember the last time that she felt as though her insides were going to burst from the discomfort she felt. She bit her lip as she took one tiny step forward, making sure her legs didn't go numb. As far as she could remember, none of them had ever been this awkward around _anyone_. She looked to Shikamaru, whose eyes were conveniently focused on a notepad he held in his hands.

In her peripheral vision, she could see the blond-haired man shift his weight from one leg to the other, stuffing his hands in his _haori_ pockets. He kept his eyes on the coffee table in the middle of the room, very clearly adamant on not saying anything. It was strange, because Sakura knew how much of a loudmouth he really was. She frowned as she tightened her jaw, gathering up the courage to say something, to put a stop to this _awful_ silence.

She cleared her throat, which at least made both men look at her with curiosity.

"I have a medical report for you."

It was silent again. Sakura lifted her face to look - to _finally_ look - at Naruto's face, and she felt her shoulders stiffen. He was staring at her, and not in the way he used to. Not in the way that she was so accustomed to, the look that used to make her playfully push him so they'd both laugh. She remembered it all, but the look on his face didn't change. She cleared her throat again, hoping that this time, her voice would sound more like herself, and less like a young girl who didn't know who she was.

"It's about the area surrounding the woods. I think it's crucial you take a look at this as soon as possible."

_Clack._

He took one step closer.

"A lot of children are coming into the hospital with broken bones and torn ligaments and we don't have -"

"Take a seat."

Sakura blinked.

"What?"

"Take a seat. We'll talk about this now, I have time. Right, Shikamaru?"

Sakura looked over to the man standing by the door, who looked just about ready to bolt out of there. He stared long and hard at Sakura, and she would say that he looked more troubled than anything else. It made sense, of course. For so many years, she always sent someone else to give these reports. It was astonishing to know that she would be willing to come up herself, for once.

"Go ahead, Hokage-sama. If you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving early today."

Without waiting for approval from Naruto, Shikamaru left, his footsteps could be heard going rather quickly. Sakura could hear him stop at Naruto's desk, probably saying something to Himawari, before the door opened again. Surely enough, the young girl was grinning widely as she excused herself for the day, telling her father not to work too hard. Naruto smiled back at her, and it wasn't quite the same smile Sakura had come to know and love, but it was similar. She smoothed out the invisible wrinkles in her jacket and crossed her legs, then uncrossed them again. Naruto took his seat across from her on the leather sofa, reaching his hand out to her. She leaned forward and handed him the envelope, watching him slowly tear it open. He read it carefully, his expression extremely attentive. She hadn't seen that expression in years, it seemed. She reached for an empty glass that sat before her and poured cold water from the pitcher, sipping it quietly.

"Seems like a big problem, huh," he said idly as he was reading the end of the report.

"Big enough to send a lot of people to the hospital."

"How many kids a day?"

"It depends, but the minimum is ten to twelve kids. We don't have enough staff."

"Can't you hire new ones?"

Sakura blinked.

"You know it doesn't work like that. We can't just hire shinobi who haven't been trained."

"I meant, hire them as disciples and train them that way. Just like baa-chan did for you."

He had a point, of course. Though, that wasn't the reason Sakura was here right now.

"I was going to ask you to secure the area there. Put up more protection there."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up the slightest bit, and it wasn't in amusement or surprise, just that it sounded like a good idea. Sakura knew he was a good Hokage, but she also knew that being Hokage made people extremely exhausted. It wasn't easy being leader, even if you loved the people as much as Naruto loved his people. He set down the letter next to him and poured himself a glass of water, leaning against the back of the sofa.

"I'll get to it right away. Thank you."

Sakura nodded, and a wave of relief washed over her, that she had finally done what she didn't want to do for so many years. It turned out to not be as bad as she thought - count on Naruto not to make anything awkward. She felt a little guilty, however, that she wasn't asking about his life and how he was doing. They _were_ best friends, after all. He _was_ in love with her, after all. Perhaps he didn't want to include her this time, perhaps this time he wanted to love Hinata differently than he loved her. Perhaps he just didn't want Sakura to be a part of his life in any form anymore.

"I'll excuse myself," she whispered as she stood up.

"Wait, stay."

Sakura looked at Naruto curiously, and saw that his hardened gaze had softened just a smidge. He neatly folded her report and pushed it back into the envelope before he looked at her again, this time his expression much softer than when she first entered the room.

"Sit down."

"I have to get back…"

"I know you better than that."

He wasn't wrong.

Drawing a deep breath, Sakura sat back down in her seat, crossing her legs this time. She looked at the man who sat before her and started noting all the small things that were changing about him - the bags under his eyes weren't _bad_, but they were definitely there. He was still in good shape, and his hair was kept short. The blue of his eyes were duller, and perhaps it was the lighting of the room, but the spark that she had come to love wasn't there anymore. She leaned against the back of the sofa, feeling particularly anxious.

"How's Sarada?" he asked suddenly as he picked up his glass of water.

"She's good, thanks. A surprisingly docile teenager."

He chuckled.

"You and Sasuke were pretty docile, after all, back then."

She tried to smile, but her heart was hurting. Throughout her whole life, she had tried to train herself to smile in painful situations, because she was always told it would help. Nothing would ever cause her to be as skilled at this as Naruto was - he was the _master_ of smiling through anything. This is what made it so hard to see what he was actually feeling, even now.

"What about Bolt? He seems kind of closed off."

"He's just wanting to play video games and have fun. Doesn't even want to study."

"Does he fail his ninjutsu tests?"

"Not at all. Hinata always makes sure to help him with those, since I can't."

"You seem pretty close to Himawari, though."

He smiled softly.

"Yeah. She really looks up to you, you know."

She looked down at her lap then, as though it had the answers written to a test. She heard vague clinking and clanking of the glasses, and she knew that he was refilling hers with more water. He wanted her to stay longer. She reminded herself that this was casual conversation, and as much as she didn't want to have it, she couldn't just leave the Hokage, even if it was someone she knew very well. Then again, knew is past tense. It was all in the past, and in a way, talking to him was almost like talking to a new person. She frowned.

"She has Hinata's beautiful hair. Looks nice with her eye color."

"Yeah, a lot of people are saying that."

"She'll grow up to be as beautiful as her mother," Sakura smiled.

She looked up to glance at Naruto, and found that his eyes were filled with a grave sadness. It was for a split second, but it was there. He moved his eyes down to his hands and took another sip of his water, then cleared his throat. Somehow, Sakura felt that perhaps, for him, this meeting was awkward. Being with her in this room, talking like this, was awkward. She gulped down the rest of her water and wiped the side of her lips with a handkerchief she pulled out of her pocket, and was getting ready to stand up when he piped up again.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

He stared at her, and there was an expression in his eyes she wasn't quite able to read. He seemed to be trying to read her, trying to decode something that he found that was apparently written in the crevices of her eyes, the lines of her face. She remembered when his eyes would light up at the slightest mention of the man she now called her husband, or when they were given an A-rank mission instead of the normal C-rank or D-rank. She remembered the little boy who had so much hope filled in a tiny body, but she also remembered when she found out about his suffering. His pain. The reason he tried so hard to be acknowledged.

Bitterly, she thought that Hinata would never be able to understand him like she did.

"If there's nothing else, I'll be leaving now."

"Sure, of course. Hope to see you again soon."

Sakura nodded and bowed, closing the door softly behind her as she left. She watched their hometown light up with lights as the people were still walking around, probably just getting ready for dinner and a night out on the town. She was late in getting home today, and Sarada might already be waiting for her. She didn't turn around as she left the Hokage Tower, fearing that he might have followed her down anyway. It had been years since Naruto had acted the way he was supposed to, but ultimately, Sakura couldn't lie to herself.

She knew what his heart was like, and she knew that if he was the same person, he wouldn't give up so easily.

•

The next few weeks at the hospital were probably the most rigorous of the entire year. Even though the area surrounding the woods were fixed, people were still coming in and somehow, they would have broken bones and torn ligaments. Sakura couldn't fathom it - maybe they were just clumsy kids. Surely enough though, she couldn't simply ask why these kids were so clumsy. It was also possible that they were just children who were coming back from missions and happened to be injured. She couldn't be sure because the Hokage was no longer her _shishou_.

"Sakura-sama, there are three new patients so far in the last hour."

"_What_? How do these kids keep getting hurt?"

Sakura groaned as she stood up from her desk, reminding herself to finish her paperwork later. She had to check up on these kids, even though she had disciples working under her to help her. Of course, she wasn't as busy as Tsunade was during her time as Hokage _and_ head medical ninja. She _did_ have time to look after each patient, which was exactly what she had been intending to do.

She sat before a young boy, who looked to be about the age of five. She smiled at him warmly as she asked for his name and began a conversation with him. Though it was mostly one-sided, the boy seemed to like her a lot, judging by the way he smiled at her brightly.

"Takumi-kun, how did you get this arm injured?" she asked as she wrapped a cast around his flimsy arm.

"I was playin' cops and robbers with my friends and I fell down."

"Did one of them push you?"

Takumi shook his head.

"Did you trip?"

"Yeah, was a rock there."

Sakura tried not to laugh.

"That happens a lot, even to adults."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I had a friend who was really clumsy with everything. But now he's a good shinobi."

"Who is he?"

Sakura's smile softened.

"He's Hokage-sama now."

The boy smiled and laughed, more than thrilled at the thought that the hero of the shinobi world was just as clumsy as he. Sakura always felt a connection with these children, and she loved making conversation with them. It was slightly different than how Tsunade handled things, but everyone knew that these two women had hearts of gold, either way. Wrapping the cast securely around Takumi's arm, Sakura noticed he was staring at her. She smiled at him, thinking perhaps he was scared, but as Sakura opened her mouth to reassure him that everything would be alright, the boy turned to smoke.

Sakura stared at the thin air before her in surprise - Takumi had been a clone.

She stood up and walked down the hall, checking up on the kids that her nurses were treating. They all seemed to disappear in a wave of smoke, every time she looked at them properly. They all had vaguely similar features, and as Sakura continued walking down the hallway, the more she was fuming. There was only _one_ person who could make this many kage bunshin, and she felt her anger boil. She spun around on her heels, calling out to her nurses as she practically stomped along the linoleum floors.

"Check that all the patients who have been admitted in the last few weeks are real people!"

Panicked chatter flowed into Sakura's ears.

"Just check! I'm going to inform Hokage-sama of this!"

Of course, it wasn't so much as _informing_ as it was _yelling_ at him for interfering with her job. She heard the surprised yelps of her disciples as she left the hospital, and the people of Konoha looked at her with surprise. Of course they hadn't seen her marching towards the Hokage Tower this way before. She hadn't _needed_ to do this before. She muttered curses under her breath as she pressed the button for the elevator to take her to the top floor. She tried ti compose herself, remembering that she was so high-strung because this had been going on for weeks. Or perhaps, this was the exact reason she _should_ be fuming.

Not many people knew of their history - just the ones who were close enough. No one knew that Naruto had been in love with her, and even fewer people knew that she had loved him, too. She reminded herself not to cause a scene, that she couldn't be the way she used to be. She took a deep breath as she walked away from the elevator and slowly opened the door to his office, her confidence shaking.

He sat at his desk, and this time, Himawari was nowhere to be found, and neither was his advisor. He lifted his head and at the sight of a fuming Sakura at his door, he leaned back in his chair. His expression wasn't amused, but they had a glint to them, one that was mischievous. The one that he used to have when he played pranks on the people of Konoha.

_Is this a joke_? she asked herself.

"What brings you here today?" he asked casually, his face complacent.

"Are you serious?" she spat.

"Yeah, I'm being completely serious."

She plopped herself down in the chair across from him, reminding herself to breathe before she spoke. If she was angry at him, the least she could do was try to hide it. This wasn't like the old days where she could tell him off when he did something wrong - she had no right to do that anymore. She wasn't his teammate anymore, and she sure as hell wasn't a big part of his life anymore.

"We've been having a bunch of kids come down with broken bones even though you secured the woods area."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. And I know what you're doing."

He raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

"You know what I'm doing?"

"Oh come _on_, no one else could make that much _kage bunshin_. The only question is _why_ you're doing this."

"Why I'm doing this?"

"Why you're interfering with my work. You know I'm busy."

"I just wanted to give you something to do."

She glared at him, feeling more insulted than she ever had in the last ten years. Her palms curled into fists in her lap and she stood up, not caring anymore that he was the Hokage, because _he_ should be the one to know how important being a medical ninja was. _He_ should remember how it was for Tsunade, how it was for _her_, when they had to work late hours and how worried they got when there were too many patients. She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer to her, and she had to fight the overwhelming urge to punch him right in the face.

"You don't get to dictate whether I do enough or not. You have _no right_ -"

"I know."

She blinked.

"What?"

"I said, I know."

She stared at his crystal blue eyes, that somehow seemed to hold more life than the last time she saw him. She let go of his shirt, feeling a little guilty that she couldn't control her rage. She was certainly not as ill-tempered as Tsunade, but she was going to get there, if she didn't watch herself. As much as she loved her _shishou_, she wanted to be able to still have some aspect of control of her thoughts and feelings.

"What do you mean?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I was just giving you a reason to come back here."

She felt her heart drop to her stomach, sloshing around and making her feel sick.

"_Why_?"

He didn't answer for a long time, only shifting around in his seat and clearing his throat. Sakura looked at him, to find some sort of answer written in his face, in his eyes, but she couldn't. He had changed too much - so much that she couldn't read _any_ part of him anymore. She leaned back against the back of the chair and exhaled calmly through her mouth.

"Why is this the way to get me down here? You're someone I _know_ - if you really wanted to talk to me -"

"I can't just go down to the hospital. People would get suspicious."

The word rang loudly in her ear.

"Suspicious? We both have families."

"It's because of these families that we didn't talk for ten years."

She felt the tears sting her eyes but she swallowed her heart that leapt into her throat.

"And whose _fault_ is that?"

"_Yours_."

She blinked again. She looked at his face properly, trying to fathom the way the creases folded differently, the way his smile didn't quite match the one she knew so very well. She had thought for so long that this was the life he chose, this was who he wanted to be, this was who he wanted to make happy. She couldn't take her eyes off his, and she felt as though the wall that she had fabricated to be perfect enough to surround her heart, was coming apart in mere seconds.

"I thought you were happy," she whispered, finally.

"I'm trying to be."

"So why aren't you?"

He tried to offer a smile, but his eyes held weights of sadness she wished she couldn't see.

"She's not you."

Sakura felt the tears sting her eyes once more, and her hands immediately balled into fists. She didn't want to go through this again, she didn't want to have to go through the process of packing away her heart again - it had taken so long to do so, and even then, it wasn't perfect. Why now, of all the times? Why was he telling her this now, when they each had their own families, their own responsibilities? She held her head in her hands and thought hard about the man sitting in front of her, the man whose heart somehow _still_ laid with her. The man who she almost died protecting, the man who, when he became Hokage, didn't even come to say hello.

"You can't do this right now, Naruto."

"So when is the right time?"

"The right time would've been _years_ ago, when you brought back Sasuke-kun, when you looked at me and told me _thank you_. That would've been the perfect time!"

She was trying not to let her voice waver, trying to hold it together, but the thought that they had come so close was repeatedly stabbing her in the chest, was making her feel all these emotions that she promised herself she wouldn't feel again. In a way, she knew she was like a child, making promises to never get hurt just because it happened to her once. She wasn't deserving of this, of any of this.

"I did, you know? All these years," he said, "I still do, very much."

"I didn't know. How could I have known, when you married someone else and didn't tell me?"

"Were you expecting me to?"

She paused at that. Of course she had been expecting him to - the reason she tried to kill Sasuke for the first time was because she wanted to pull Naruto out of his misery, to make him stop. She had felt guilty for making him live through this promise, and yet, he couldn't see that all she had done was to try and protect him and his dream. Yet, now that he was here, he didn't even know how she had felt.

"Yes. I was."

"Why didn't you say something first?"

"Because you chose Hinata. Right away."

They sat in silence, looking at each other. Finding the answers to questions they'd been asking for years, trying to understand when, how, and why. Naruto stood up, and without thinking about it, Sakura did too. They faced each other, both too afraid to say something first. He cleared his throat and she pushed her hair back - nervous habits they had for so long, that never really went away. When she looked up at him again, he was staring down at her. She felt her palms begin to sweat when his hand reached forward, but her shoulders fell in surprise when he brushed his hand against her forehead.

He tapped on her seal softly, and she saw a hint of his old smile spread across his lips.

"You've gotten so strong, you know."

Sakura couldn't voice any words - her throat felt clogged.

"I can't believe so much time has passed…" he said, and Sakura could see the tears fill his eyes.

He cleared his throat again and let his hand slide down to her cheek. He caressed her with rough but gentle fingers, and Sakura felt her heart stir. She leaned into the touch, all her emotions threatening to spill out through her eyes and her voice. He moved closer, and she could see the tinge of pink spreading across his cheeks. _Just like how he used to be_, she thought. She felt the sobs enter her chest again, and this time, she let them course through her, but the tears stayed where they were. Naruto swept his thumb below her eye, where the tears might have fallen, and Sakura could feel his radiating warmth.

The one that had kept her safe for so long before it all suddenly came to a stop.

"Sakura-chan," he said, his voice low and wavering, "when Sasuke married you, were you happy?"

Sakura froze.

She looked up at him, and felt a stabbing pain in her chest when she saw that his tears had spilled out of his eyes and were now falling down his face. With his free hand, he tried to wipe them away, but only with futile effort. She felt her heart hurt, even when she held his hand in hers, allowing her own tears to spill. It had been a long time since she allowed herself to feel something as painful, something as real as this. She moved closer, holding his face in her hands, making sure he saw the truth in her eyes, and not just the genuity in her words.

"No," she breathed, "I wasn't."

Slowly, she raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck, careful not to hold him too tight. She tugged softly at the hairs at his neck, knowing it soothed him. Knowing that it made him breathe. Her heart began thumping when his arms wrapped snugly around her waist, holding her tighter, closer. She knew, she had always known, that if she allowed herself to go down this path, she would suffer. She couldn't tear herself away, though - she couldn't bear to. For the first time in years, her open-wounded heart didn't hurt so much, and when he called her name just once more, she felt herself spiraling even more in love with him.


	3. Chapter 3

I really didn't know how to approach this chapter for a while. I don't know why. Also, I know I mentioned an "Aki" in the last chapter, but I decided to bring him to life. As always, please review!

* * *

><p><em>I know these scars will bleed.<em>

The room was quiet as she sifted through her papers, looking for the flyer that Shikamaru had sent out to all divisional heads just a few weeks ago. It seemed a little ridiculous that Naruto would tell Shikamaru to use flyers, but Sakura supposed this is what made it less boring. These meetings were held every year, but she normally sent a subordinate - the one named Aki - to go for her. Sakura sighed as she looked through once more, thinking that it was just her luck that once again, there wasn't anyone to take her place to deal with, well, things she didn't want to deal with. When Aki was available, he'd tell her what had happened at these meetings, but it was never anything big. It was mostly just checkups on each department, and Sakura knew this was a fact.

The whole concept of it was only imposed when Shikamaru became the Hokage's advisor, which meant that Naruto was too disorganized to actually know what was going on in each division. When Tsunade was Hokage, things were very much in order, and there was no need for meetings at a certain time of each month. Glancing to one of the few photo frames on her table, Sakura smiled. It was a photo of her, Tsunade, and Shizune. They were all dressed in their hospital coats, smiling widely into the camera.

_Everything was so much simpler_, she thought as she reached for the frame.

Sakura wiped the dust off the glass before setting it back on her desk again, feeling a little tired. She had been at the hospital for most of the day, and she was almost jealous of everyone that worked a nine-to-five job, though that meant she wouldn't have her position - which essentially meant that she wouldn't have access to the necessary equipment for treating different illnesses. She stood up and smoothed out her skirt, swiftly slipping into her coat. She turned off the heater and grabbed her purse, feeling jittery since it was her first time going to one of these things, after all.

She smiled at the nurses on duty as she left, allowing the doors to swing shut behind her.

Checking the time to make sure she was prompt, Sakura was beginning to feel anxious when she saw that she was twenty minutes _earlier_ than everyone else. She hesitated at the elevator, debating whether or not she should sit in that room and help herself to the delicious food she had heard about from Aki for years, but when she heard the _ding!_ of the elevator, she wheeled around to go to the vending machine and hang around there - at least until it was time to meet everyone else.

When she whirled around, however, she wasn't faced with the doorway, but rather, a blond-haired woman with wide, blue eyes. Sakura felt her breath stop.

"Ino," she breathed.

"Forehead!" Ino squealed as she pulled Sakura into her arms, squeezing tightly.

Ino pulled back as suddenly as she tackled the medical nin, clutching her shoulders. She wore her usual smile, and Sakura found that it made her feel at ease. She had forgotten how much she missed Ino's smile - they were both busy, after all. Plus, Ino always went to these meetings and while it may have seemed like a good enough opportunity to catch up, Sakura had issues that she was still dealing with. Even as she stood in the Hokage tower, facing someone else who was important to her that she hadn't spoken to in a while, she couldn't come up with an excuse as to why she had avoided her very first friend for so long.

"Usually you send Aki for these things. Everything okay?"

Sakura nodded stiffly, putting on her best smile. Ino stared at her, and she knew that, apart from Naruto, the woman could see right through her and it was clear she didn't believe her. Sakura turned around towards the elevator before more questions were asked. Ino stood beside her and nudged her softly, from time to time. Sakura laughed when the woman began touching her ribs, and suddenly, with easy laughter and the thundering in her heart coming to a halt, it felt like no time had passed at all.

"Where's Sai?" Sakura asked as they were going up.

"He's coming. Taking Inojin to one of his art classes."

"You're okay with that?"

Ino laughed.

"Well, I mean, it's in his blood. It was just a matter of if he wanted to or not."

Sakura nodded as the elevator reached the top and the _ding!_ was much louder than she was expecting. Has it always been like that? She supposed it had, since Ino didn't flinch. As they walked towards the wooden door, Ino began talking about her son with an adoration in her voice, and Sakura was trying to listen - she honestly was - but the pounding in her ears was making it a little difficult. She didn't quite understand why she was feeling jittery, because it's _not_ like she had been alone with the Hokage in his office, and it's certainly _not_ like they told each other the truth about their unresolved feelings.

_Not at all_, Sakura thought, her heart pounding harder now.

"Sakura?" Ino chimed as she waved her hand in front of Sakura's face.

"Huh?"

"You zoned out. You okay? Do you need some water?"

Sakura blinked, surprised.

"Ah, no. I'm okay. Just a little tired."

She walked ahead of Ino, attempting to appear preoccupied with things other than the wooden door at the end of the hall that awaited her. Her heels clacked against the floor and Ino followed close behind her. She thought of the man she would have to see inside and she remembered the way the lines of his face scrunched up and relaxed when he cried - she remembered how his laughter lines were faint. Almost like they weren't really there. She stood before the mahogany door and wasted no time, turning the knob and stepping inside, not caring that she and Ino were still twelve minutes early.

"Oh, hey Sakura," Shikamaru deadpanned, and Sakura raised her eyebrows at his tone.

"Hey, it's okay if we're early, right?" she asked as Ino settled into the couch in the adjoining room.

"Yeah, sure. Naruto's not even done from his previous meeting, yet."

Nodding, she headed towards the next room and found a table _filled_ with salmon sashimi and sushi, pork cutlets, delicacies from different countries, and an assortment of sweets. She felt her mouth water as she walked over to the table, all her inhibitions being torn down. She looked at the cupcakes and the mini-cakes and could taste the vanilla and chocolate on the tip of her tongue.

"Looks good, huh?" Ino uttered, her voice soft.

"Yeah. I'm so tempted," Sakura laughed.

"Temari made those, you know."

"I didn't know she liked sweets."

Ino smiled.

"She doesn't."

Sakura turned to look at the blond properly, raising her eyebrows. She had known that Temari was a good cook - she had heard the rumors from other women in Konoha, but sometimes, Inojin would tell Sarada how she 'has to try Mrs. Nara's cupcakes one day'. Still, it didn't explain why Ino was looking at her as though she was worried she was stepping on eggshells.

"Naruto requests a lot of sweets every month," Shikamaru piped up, and Sakura could see him leaning against the doorframe.

"Oh," she breathed.

The blond woman stared at Sakura, her expression unreadable. She could see Shikamaru shuffling through some papers on a clipboard before he himself plopped down onto the sofa - the very same one Naruto sat on just a few nights ago. She perused the rest of the sweets, looking for anything particularly exotic, but she could only find familiar ones. They were the type that she had eaten sometimes as a teenager, when she came home from a mission with Naruto. They were the type that _he_ ate whenever he went with her to the corner store. Her composed expression faltered for just a second, but made sure to turn her head just enough so that Ino wouldn't see.

"Are you two okay?" Ino whispered, and never mind the fact that Sakura was trying to hide - Ino would always find a way to break the silence.

"Yeah, we're fine. Why?"

"At their wedding, you seemed a little…"

"Happy? Because I am. For him. For her," Sakura didn't realize she sounded annoyed until she looked at Ino's face, creased with worry.

Sakura sucked in a breath of air, ready to apologize for being brash, but Ino smiled brightly.

"Hey, it's all in the past now, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"You loved him before, but now you have Sasuke and Sarada. You're happy, right?"

Sakura had to use every ounce of strength that she had left, in order to divert attention away from her eyes - away from the very things that would give her away to the one person she used to never be able to lie to. She could feel the walls around her heart shaking, threatening to crumble to the ground. She was becoming frantic, it was starting to feel like she was trying to hold down a _fort_, and that was something she hadn't felt in years. She hadn't felt so _weak_ and regretful in a while, but that was because she never allowed herself to. She took a deep breath, and for a moment, the pounding in her heart slowed, and it felt as though the pieces - the tiny, broken shards of what she had left - fell to her stomach.

"Yeah. I'm happy," she smiled.

It felt like an eternity before everyone else arrived, and of course the Hokage himself was fashionably late. Sakura wasn't surprised to see that Kiba was a divisional head - he managed the Chuunin exams after all - but her eyes still did widen when he flopped onto the couch next to Ino, so very comfortably. She watched as Sai reached for a few cupcakes and his eyes lit up each time he took a bite. She had never seen him smile so wide, had never heard him laugh so much. She wasn't sure that he'd even be _capable_ of it. Just as she thought she was subtly eyeing him, Sai turned to look at her.

"Where have you been?" he asked coolly, though Sakura knew he wasn't being cold.

"Just busy," she replied, already feeling worn down.

"Too busy to see us?"

"Us?"

"Me and Ino."

Sakura breathed out a laugh of relief. She slapped him lightly on the shoulder, to which he smiled - though it did seem rather forced. She felt her heart sink a little as Sai took his place on the other side of Ino. He had been the one to tell her that Naruto was in love with her, and she had cried devastating tears, saying he was a fool for loving her. She remembered the heavy burden she had placed on his shoulders without realizing it, and she had resolved to stop him from going after Sasuke alone. Still, she failed and ended up hurting him more than she could bear to understand.

A few more people came in, laughing and hugging each other as though they were elderly people who hadn't seen their high school friends in twenty years. With how busy they all were, it only made sense that they felt like that. They all spoke of their families, their jobs, and how proud they were of their children and Sakura couldn't help but think of her seventeen-year-old daughter. She smiled and laughed with her old friends, the feeling of belonging slowly settling in. She took a few swigs of the sake that Shikamaru set on the table, and it wasn't long before she felt a buzz.

"Looks like everyone's havin'a great time," a raspy voice said near the door.

Naruto shrugged out of his light coat and took a seat next to Shikamaru, immediately downing five cups of sake. Sakura stared in awe when she realized that she hadn't spent his twentieth birthday with him. She hadn't watched him turn legal, and vice versa. Everyone in the room was on a buzz and listened to Kiba and Naruto banter, laughing when one made a joke or when the other made verbal jabs. Sakura played along, idly wondering when they would get down to business. It didn't seem likely considering the fact that they were all a little tipsy. She cleared her throat.

"Is there a reason we're here tonight?" she asked.

"To talk about stuff!" Kiba answered as he stuffed a few biscuits into his large mouth.

"What… kind of stuff?"

"Our families, our jobs. Sometimes our kids, too, if Ino's drunk enough." Shikamaru chuckled.

"_Hey_, you know you're proud of your kid!" Ino retorted, her speech a little slurred.

Sakura blinked, knowing that there was some huge misunderstanding. She looked at Sai, who merely gave her a shrug and a grin before he put his arm over Ino's shoulders, drinking his tenth cup of sake.

"Sakura-chan, don't tell me you actually thought this was a meeting?" Naruto said, his tone amused.

"Well…" Sakura began, "that was what the flyer said."

Every single person stared at her with disbelief in their eyes and when they began to laugh, Sakura couldn't help but join in with them. She thought back to the times Aki had claimed these meetings were more fun than expected, and he always got absolutely delicious food. It dawned on Sakura that for so many years, Aki always seemed more than happy to fill in her shoes, and would tell her that nothing important happened. She would have laughed out loud if her body contained a higher percentage of alcohol, but she settled for merely taking another drink and thinking about how _sneaky_ her subordinate was. She made a mental note she hoped she would remember in the morning, that he would get an earful.

The rest of the night drifted and felt like it could go on forever. They reminisced and told tales of their youth as they swallowed cup after cup of sake. For the first time in over ten years, Sakura felt her heart freed from its shackles as she laughed and drank - noting that all the while, Naruto watched her with content eyes. He downed a few more glasses and smiled wide at her and it wasn't until then that she realized she had been staring at him, too.

She smiled back, her body warm.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until the middle of the following week that Sakura saw Aki at the hospital, flashing a sweet smile to girl patients just a few years younger than him as he conducted morning reports. She watched him as he treated a much younger girl - perhaps seven years old - and Sakura smiled when he made the young girl laugh. He had always been good with kids, even though she knew he was an only child. He was just two years older than Sarada, and Sakura had to admit she was pretty surprised when he asked her for an apprenticeship. Things like that worked differently now that there hadn't been war since she was a teenager, but she accepted, anyway.<p>

Although she hated to admit it, Aki had taken on the training rather well.

Much better than when she was training under Tsunade, anyway.

In a way, he kind of reminded her of Naruto - though of course, that was only because he had blond hair and blue eyes, and an unbelievable will to keep trying. In principle, he was nothing like the Hokage. She cleared her throat and he whirled around, clipboard in hand.

"Morning, Sakura-sama," he said, smiling.

"Morning. Come to my office when you're done."

"I'm already done. Let's walk?"

Sakura nodded and smiled to herself when she watched Aki hug the little girl, that little act of kindness making the tiny body laying in the bed just a little happier. Children in the hospital needed that, and when Aki had first started out, they all took a liking to him. It was only a matter of time before Sakura finally decided that he was in charge of the children's department. It was no secret that some of the older girls - thirteen or fourteen year-olds - had crushes on him.

They greeted passing nurses in unison and before long, they reached Sakura's office, where a box of chocolates already lay waiting on her desk.

"Very funny, Aki," Sakura laughed as she took her seat, gesturing to the chair across from her.

"I didn't do anything," he answered.

"These chocolates aren't from you?"

"I swear I had nothing to do with it," Aki said, raising his hands as though in surrender.

Looking closer at the handwriting on the note, Sakura sighed. It was written in what some call illegible chicken scratch, and they could _only_ be Shikamaru's - the man always thought too quickly as he wrote notes. She pulled open a drawer and reached for a post-it note stack, scribbling a note onto a sheet before sticking it on her board of reminders. She rested her chin in her palm and sighed.

"Is there… something wrong?" Aki asked.

"What? No, sorry," she laughed, "just. These chocolates. They're from -"

"Hokage-sama?"

Sakura stared at her student in disbelief, as though such a thing were impossible. Though of course, she knew it wasn't.

"I'm sorry," he laughed, "it's just that whenever you get something from that tower, you sigh like that!"

"Like what?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

"Like, 'oh-what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you'. You did it a lot when you first trained me."

"I did not!"

"You did, but it was only later on when I did stupid shit."

"Hey," she scolded, "language."

"As if _that's_ an issue," the teenager chuckled, "have you forgotten who you called when you went out with Tsunade-sama for the first time in years?"

Sakura laughed.

"Again, I apologize. As you could tell from my slurred words."

"I'm surprised you remember that."

"I was drunk, not piss-drunk."

Aki shrugged and smiled as he reached for a frame off her desk - the one that was most recent - and stared at it. Sakura noticed he looked at that particular one a lot, and she couldn't say she cared much for it. She waited for him to say something - mostly because she knew he would.

"When do I get to meet her?"

"When pigs fly."

"Oh, come _on_."

"She's not interested," Sakura said.

"You can't speak for your daughter like that, that's rude."

"No, seriously. I think she might be into girls."

"_That_ went a little too far - I've seen how she looks at Boruto-san."

At the mention of the name, Sakura fell silent. It was for a few seconds and she quickly recovered, but she saw the narrowing of Aki's eyes. She knew she was in trouble.

"He's just… a friend," she said.

Scoffing, Aki set the frame back on the table.

"Like how you and Hokage-sama are friends?"

"We _are_ friends."

"Not like how you wanna be, though," Aki said, shrugging as he leaned back in his seat.

Feeling the sting of his words, Sakura sighed. Although Aki was a little too sarcastic with adults for his own good, he had a point. She stared at him long and hard, and had this been her and Tsunade, she would have been apprehensive and apologized hastily, saying it was none of her business - but Sakura, thankfully or not thankfully, was not as intense as Tsunade. Aki stared back at her contentedly, his expression calm. Almost as though he was waiting for something. He was strange like that, but Sakura could always trust him.

"You said nothing ever happened at those meetings," Sakura said, her tone suspicious.

"Nothing ever does. Its boring, really."

"Yeah? I bet the free food makes it more bearable," she cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh," he grinned deviously, "it does."

"_Aki_," Sakura scolded.

"What?! You told me to go!"

"Because I thought it was official business, in which case I did not want to go, if I didn't have to!"

Groaning, Aki settled properly into his seat. Sakura sighed, turning her attention to the box of chocolates. She opened it and popped one into her mouth, and shen when she glanced at Aki, he looked as though he was almost glaring at her. She smiled sweetly and handed the box to him, offering a few pieces. He took two and popped them into his mouth, and his expression softened. It was silent for a few minutes, but Aki spoke first -

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Just a little stressed," Sakura answered, and she wasn't really lying.

"Ever since you went to that meeting, you've been… smiling more."

"Says who?" she laughed.

"Tsunade-sama."

Laughter tumbled out of Sakura's lips, but Aki couldn't be fooled. He knew that when Tsunade-sama made an observation about his sensei, then something must have changed. Sakura refused to meet his eyes and tried to busy herself with a few more pieces of chocolate, but Aki called her name again, his expression more concerned this time.

"Did something happen?" he asked quietly.

"It's just that I spent so much time trying to stay away from them," she began, "I wanted to move on."

"From what?"

"Old feelings?" she tried before she shook her head and tried again. "Feelings that were still there."

"And you thought avoiding the people -"

"Person," she corrected.

"Right. You thought avoiding that person would help?"

"I just wanted to be liberated."

Aki was silent, but Sakura knew he was watching her. Despite the fact that their relationship was mostly playful, Aki was receptive to her emotions. Especially when it came to her reminiscing with the people in her generation, the people she grew up with. For as long as she trained the young man, Sakura knew how smart Aki was. He had only heard her outright admit that she wanted to get away from the Hokage once or twice, but he also knew her feelings lingered. That didn't exclude her feelings for Naruto, but her feelings for all her old friends, as well. He hummed and leaned forward, his brow scrunched together. She couldn't help but think he looked a lot like Naruto when he did that.

"When you're an adult," she whispered, "you don't get the luxury of using 'I loved them' as an excuse to be near them. You have to shut the door and move on."

"Doesn't always work that way, huh?"

"No," she smiled sadly, "it doesn't."

"It's gotta be better than pretending you're fine with it, right?"

"I don't know, Aki," Sakura sighed, "he _married_ her without telling me the truth."

Truthfully, Sakura didn't understand how Aki felt he knew what advice to give. His parents were two shinobi who fell in love and got married. They were the average joe shinobi, but they were still parents that loved him, and they loved each other. Aki wasn't like Sarada - the product of parents who had a difficult past who seemingly found home within each other. Sometimes, when Sarada wasn't home and it was late, Sakura flipped through her baby pictures, to remind herself that she was someone's mother - that her love was important in that regard, and that, even if she had a husband who couldn't appreciate her, she had a daughter who needed her. She froze when Shikamaru's head popped into the door. Aki watched her expression and fell silent too, waiting awkwardly for Sakura to say something.

"Hey, ya busy?" Shikamaru asked.

"Hey, uh, no. What's up?"

"Hokage-sama wants to see you."

Nodding, Sakura told the Hokage advisor that she would see him in a few minutes. Aki stared at her pointedly, and not for the first time in her life, Sakura felt afraid.


End file.
